The Best Gifts Cost Nothing

Turning 60 was never something I particularly looked forward to. It’s one of those milestones that seems bigger than it really is, like a checkpoint where you pause and take stock of what’s behind and what’s ahead. But if my birthday celebration taught me anything, it’s that gratitude and connection far outweigh any number.

The night itself was wonderful. My wife and most of my kids gathered for an incredible French meal at Chez Joël in Little Italy. We laughed, reminisced, and savored every bite. Afterward, we drove over to the Chicago Magic Lounge to cap off the evening with a little wonder and sleight of hand. As we sat in the car for the 10 PM show because we were early, a different kind of magic happened.

A message popped up on my phone—unexpected, out of nowhere. It was from an old colleague, friend, and project manager at my former firm, Baumeister Electronic Architects. That firm was my life’s work for 20 years. My wife and I built it into one of the most well-known, pioneering home technology firms in the country. We were a force. And then, like so many businesses during the 2008-2009 recession, we suddenly closed.

What followed for my family was nothing short of a meat grinder. People hear about companies shutting down, but they rarely hear about what happens to the families behind them. The struggle, the heartbreak, the reinvention. (Our accountant said it was amazing Mary and I stayed together as most of his clients who had family businesses got divorces.) It’s a chapter I’ve learned to tuck away, to turn off—like that song from The Book of Mormon, “Turn it off like a light switch.” It has been easier that way.

But every once in a while, life hands you a gift that forces you to crack open that old dusty box of memories.

The message read:

“You probably won’t get this or read it, but I appreciate you and just know that you helped me get out of a tight spot when I needed it. You gave me something I really needed. Because of your opportunity, I am truly happy and have been successful in my life. Thanks, John. I will always remember you for the respect you have given me.”

At least sixteen years has passed since we last spoke. And here, on my 60th birthday, I was being reminded that what we built mattered. That even in the darkest days, when I thought it had all been for nothing, it had actually changed lives.

What an incredible gift.

That message shifted something in me. It reminded me that the best gifts don’t come in boxes or gift bags. They aren’t things. They are moments of genuine gratitude, reminders that we’ve made an impact on the people around us. That’s what really counts.

I’ve decided to pass this on. Going forward, I’m making it a point to reach out to people on their birthdays—not with a simple “Happy Birthday,” but with something real. A memory, a thank you, an acknowledgment of what they’ve meant in my life. Because bought gifts fade, but words of gratitude? Those last forever.

So, to my friend who reached out, thank you. You gave me something I didn’t even know I needed. And to anyone reading this—who in your life could use the same gift?